Stressed out.

I really hate it when it gets to one of those points in life where it feels like there is just too much going on and not enough time to think about everything never mind actually get on and do something about anything. Well that's pretty much where I am right now.

I'm on these antibiotics for the infection I've got in one of the wounds from the appendicectomy I had in the summer and they just wipe me out - make me feel really depressed actually.

I'm currently applying for uni, and was hoping to send off my UCAS application form by the end of this week but thats not going to happen anymore. With the spending cuts and everything up in the air with uni fees at the moment, I really don't know whether to take a gap year which was my original plan, or whether to just go straight to uni so that I don't have to pay the higher amount of money. Also got lots of work to do which I quite frankly can't be bothered to do. I have no motivation to do anything and would rather just curl up in a little ball for a few days in the hopes that everything gets better.

But life doesn't really work like that. And I know that from past experience that curling up in a little ball and hoping it just passes on by doesn't help - it makes it worse if anything!

"God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." - Psalm 26:1-2

"Cast your cares on the Lord, He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall" - Psalm 55:22

"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" - Psalm 34:18

"I waited patiently for the Lord, He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock gave me a firm place to stand." - Psalm 40:1-2

The Psalms are an incredible comfort when things are difficult. Its a reminder that things are difficult, life is crap sometimes - but thats because we are living in a crap world, not because we have a crap god. God loves us. Oh how He loves us! He is gracious and compassionate. He comes down and rescues us. He is so patient with us, how much more then should we be patient with him - his timing is perfect. He knows what he is doing. And he causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him. Whatever he's doing right now is for my good. I just need to remember that and draw closer to him.

What do you value?

I was asked a few weeks ago to take an epilogue (short talk) at the kids clubs I help on how Judas misunderstood Jesus. The passage I was given was from Matthew 26:14-16 and went as follows...


Then one of the Twelve - the one called Judas Iscariot - went to the chief priests and asked, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

To begin with I had no idea where to start, but I was thinking about why was Judas willing to hand him over? And the answer I came to was that Jesus wasn't important enough. Money was much more important to him than Jesus himself.

I went on in the epilogue to ask what is the thing that is most valuable to you? What makes you tick? What's the thing that you think of first when you wake up in a morning? I've been really challenged recently to make Jesus the most important thing in my life. I'm reading Counterfeit God's by Tim Keller in my 1-2-1 which is a really good read, and very challenging (thoroughly recommend it!) and then with this epilogue remembering that everytime we make something else more important than Jesus, we are notifying the Pharisees and sending Jesus to the cross.


The thing is, it is so easy to make things more important than they should be. Money, friends, family, possessions, school work, image, abilities. Its so easy to tell yourself, or allow others to tell you that these are the things in life that are worth having, and the things that will satisfy you. But it couldn't be more untrue. We live in a society where we are never satisfied with what we have. We always want more, and when we get more we are still ungrateful and unfulfilled.

Jesus gave up so much for us.
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
What he has done for us is so incredible and it shocks me everytime I stop and realise how sinful we are. How much we reject him all the time, and how many things we make more important than Jesus. Jesus just deseves so much better from us.

...thank God for GRACE!

An extract of incredibleness from Charles Spurgeon

"The hope which is laid up for you in heaven." - Colossians 1:5

Our hope in Christ for the future is the mainspring and the mainstay of our joy here. It will animate our hearts to think often of heaven, for all that we can desire is promised there. Here we are weary and toilworn, but yonder is the land of rest where the sweat of labour shall no more bedew the worker's brow, and fatigue shall be forever banished. To those who are weary and spent, the word "rest" is full of heaven. We are always in the field of battle; we are so tempted within, and so molested by foes without, that we have little or no peace; but in heaven we shall enjoy the victory, when the banner shall be waved aloft in triumph, and the sword shall be sheathed, and we shall hear our Captain say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." We have suffered bereavement after bereavement, but we are going to the land of the immortal where graves are unknown things. Here sin is a constant grief to us, but there we shall be perfectly holy, for there shall by no means enter into that kingdom anything which defileth. Hemlock springs not up in the furrows of celestial fields. Oh! is it not joy, that you are not to be in banishment forever, that you are not to dwell eternally in this wilderness, but shall soon inherit Canaan? Nevertheless let it never be said of us, that we are dreaming about the future and forgetting the present, let the future sanctify the present to highest uses. Through the Spirit of God the hope of heaven is the most potent force for the product of virtue; it is a fountain of joyous effort, it is the corner stone of cheerful holiness. The man who has this hope in him goes about his work with vigour, for the joy of the Lord is his strength. He fights against temptation with ardour, for the hope of the next world repels the fiery darts of the adversary. He can labour without present reward, for he looks for a reward in the world to come.